So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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