So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
