One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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