If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
