im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize