this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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