a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
