He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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