honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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