There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
