can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
