he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I see more hoeing in ur future
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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