Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
