Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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