hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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