Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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