If i come over, it means nothing
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
