I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
