quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize