? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
