I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize