Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
