She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
