at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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