You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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