I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
