i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
