i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
