i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
