Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Banned from zoo.
Again?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Randomize
