this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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