He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
