my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I am one with the molecules
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
