I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
