I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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