just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
