I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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