So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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