would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
