i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
