using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
