Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
