Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
