my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
