accomplished twins. life is a go
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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