My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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