He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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