I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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