I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
