there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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