the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
