Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
