I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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