i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
