Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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