5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
