Christians are straight up FREAKS
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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