she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize