They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He better not be in your backpack
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My feet surprised me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
