Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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