Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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