I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
