yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
