note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
