Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your cock deserves a montage
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
