I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm both gender and math confused
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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