If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
