if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
