Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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