I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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