but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
