I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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