hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
