I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
